Last blog on myspace, I rarely venture to this corner of the internet anymore, so I have decided to continue my blogs on a website called blogger. If for any odd reason at all, you decide to continue checking out my blogs, which no one does anymore, the link is:http://mikesmithiii.blogspot.com/
*EDIT http://mikesmithiii.tumblr.com/ *
here’s my last blog..
Ok, so I have had fresh in my mind, the ride I took the other night, I was indeed intoxicated, but not terribly. I was listening to a song I listen to pretty often and every time I do it really strikes a chord. It seems to run parallel with my life, which is surprisingly alot like other things. My friend Dennis and I share the same life almost, it seems like.
Basically what this song reciprocated, was what’s been on my mind lately. What is happiness? Pure, happiness. I have ‘been begging for change’ in order to heal my happiness. Now that that change has occurred, I wonder if it’s what I’ve always been asking for. I’ve been on both side of the unrelenting mirror, on both sides I saw myself as a different being. A happy person. When the tides had turned, I found myself the same miserable sap that existed in the first place. Maybe being miserable is what makes me. Happy could only mean feeling lost, and confused. For me, I’m feeling the best when I’m low. The best feeling comes from sharing a moment with someone struggling as much as yourself. Sitting down, cutting the bullshit, having a meaningful talk over some sort of steadying substance, laying things out, and finally understanding what is really important. If I could count these moments i wouldn’t even surpass ten. See, to indulge in these moments, you need a trigger. Something I haven’t had. I’ve been experiencing what some people call happiness, which evades these wild scenarios.
I wonder, sometimes, if I’m asking for too much, but I think it’s strange that happiness seldom happens, only in small spurts do I experience it. Maybe it’s time I give up the hunt, but I keep thinking, maybe it will come..
You know your just so sure of wanting more, but nobody has a clue. You party with a secret smile, doesn’t that get you? This taste is bitter except your, finished and done and lying in bed.
This isn’t too selfish, right?
